Ruminations induced by a seriously existential traffic jam

One of the major reasons why Kartik was worried about moving to India is the fact that I have zero adaptability. I have a well defined comfort zone and stepping out of my personal boundaries induces panic. Actually, even the thought of stepping out of my personal boundaries is enough to induce massive anxiety. Kartik is the opposite. He’s an adapter who can change his spots to suit his surroundings in a seemingly effortless manner. He knows what so say, when to say it, and how to say it. This is an advantage that most Indian people have against, well, anybody really—they’ve grown up in such cut throat competition that they can survive and adapt to anything. You can’t take time off for being sick, being depressed, recovering from an eating disorder…heck, you can’t even think of ever having an eating disorder in the first place. Kartik doesn’t really come into this group as he was born with a sizeable silver spoon in his mouth [as compared to members of what’s considered the middle class in India] but he definitely has the competitive Indian spirit that’s part hard-work, part aggression and part rigid practicality. From what I’ve seen, the most successful people here have been those who don’t get sick, multitask 24/7, simply do not give up under any circumstances, and those who have [what I’ve labelled] positive aggression.

Chaos on the Streets

I am coming to terms with the fact that I am not remotely cut out to be that way. The grand epiphany puts me in a glitch as I wasn’t, how do I say this, born with a sizeable silver spoon in my mouth. Sure I was raised in relative comfort, but nothing that remotely resembled a silver spoon. Now in Canada, this wouldn’t have really mattered because most people can lead comfortable lives without having to be wealthy. You’ll get electricity, gas, central a/c and heating, proper insulation and decent plumbing for a much cheaper rate than you would in India. To put things into perspective having an a/c for each room, somewhat insulated windows, and half way decent plumbing is considered a luxury! Our summer electricity bills in Gurgaon come up to roughly two hundred Canadian dollars a month [in Toronto, it would be somewhere between $60 - $80 CAD]. As you can see <here> our apartment is a small two bedroom unit, so it’s not some massive place that requires the constant use of a/c. Gas prices are generally more expensive by 40 cents / litre.  You have to pay for your kids schooling. Insurance companies are bigger shall we say sharks here than they are in the US. [Side Note: Ya know what India desperately needs? A Michael Moore! Imagine someone going to some Indian ministry with a camera and documentary crew.] Obviously, people here make a lot less money than they do in Canada so it’s mind boggling how they survive and still manage to save a lot more $ than your average Canadian.

Michael Moore

I certainly miss Canadian life and values. There’s no pressure to throw yourself into your work to have a somewhat decent standard of living. You go to uni, get average grades, at the end of the day you’ll most likely get a starting salary of at least 30K a year. Healthcare is universal. Kids get an excellent tax payer funded education. Politicians actually work in public service [they may annoy you with their moustaches however…Jack Layton has a very annoying moustache]. And racism is um considered bad…VERY bad. [Side note: some people here complain that ‘white’ people are generally racist. I would highly disagree with this sentiment. From my experiences, I come to the conclusion that minorities are far more racist to each other than ‘white’ people are towards minorities. Ask a random Indian what he or she thinks of the appearance of a Chinese person (or vice versa). I can guarantee you that you will most likely get a response that a ‘white’ person would label as racist].

In India, there’s no license to feel bad about people stereotyping your behaviour based on your ethnic background. You have to take an aggressive step forward and say ‘well, eff you, your ethnic background is *insert a whole bunch of racist stereotypes here*.’

Speaking of ethnicity and culture, my maid, who hails from a Lama-Tamang background, has no clue about her heritage! She doesn’t speak Tamang, doesn’t know any significant Tamang festivals, and this bugs me in three ways. First, I feel like she should know at least something about her heritage! Second, I feel like I should know it too! Nepal is a culturally diverse country and if Mahendra-Mala can make a stupid chapter [on every book mind you] about the amiable qualities of cows, it can bloody well have chapters highlighting cultural diversity in Nepal. Third, I also feel that it’s none of my business to be telling my maid what she should know about her own culture. The last point particularly bugs me because I realize that my maid and I are alike. We’re classic textbook examples of human migration à loss of language / culture à assimilation à indifference to parent-culture.

Back to the topic—I can definitely understand why people get pissed when I complain about living in India. India has been nicer to me than it has to 97% of its own citizens. But I feel that life here is too chaotic [not necessarily a negative word] and I am not adapting to my surroundings fast enough. I’m okay with living in India for a few years but I’ve come to the resolute conclusion that I do not want to raise children here. Kartik turned out great! And he has his parents to thank for that. But I’ve seen rather numerous examples of people who I definitely do not want my children turning into.